How to ask the right questions.
Whether you're new in the team or just lost in a discussion, find your way back with these techniques.
For some reason, there is always a stigma that comes with asking questions. It’s an act that is often associated with not paying attention, not putting enough effort, or even worse—not caring at all.
Sometimes, we ask questions not out of ignorance but simply to confirm a statement, or to challenge an idea. The method and the timing of your question could determine the tone and even the answer from the other person.
6 powerful techniques
Getting right into it, we will dive into the ways to master the act of asking curated by Leadership and Performance Coach, John Miles. In his podcast, “Passion Struck”, he elaborates on the 6 asking techniques he found to be the most effective:
Ask Clearly. Make sure you know exactly what you want, and express it as precise as possible. Curate your question so that you will get the exact information that you need.
Ask With Confidence. It doesn’t necessarily mean adopting a commanding or demeaning tone. Instead, strike a balance and maintain a moderate approach for a positive outcomes.
Ask Creatively. Try your best to be genuinely curious and open to new perspectives. It’ll enable to you to seek knowledge and understanding. You could also add an ‘incentive’ with your question.
Ask Realistically. Remember that you’re interacting with real people with their own limitations. Be mindful of your questions or requests, and show respect for their time and boundaries.
Ask Sincerely. When you ask a question, make sure it comes from a place of curiosity and not with the intent to attack. Be vulnerable as well, as people will be more likely to respond.
Ask Consistently. Regularly asking questions and reflecting on their impact will help you refine your questions overtime. Be persistent, but avoid pestering. Follow up when needed, politely and gracefully.
Check out the full podcast episode visually on YouTube here for more insights, including how to use rejection as a stepping stone.
Avoiding the pet peeves
Specifically in the workplace, the art of asking questions could sometimes be a blurry line. It could be confusing whether it’s okay to ask, or when you should ask certain questions.
Petra Novandi, Indonesian Developer at AWS, has shared some valuable tips on his personal social media:
No sudden requests. When faced with a blocker at work, you are of course encouraged to contact a senior. Make sure to set a meeting to discuss the issue day+1 unless you’re dealing with critical issues.
Tip: Peek into your senior’s calendar to check their availability before setting the meeting.
Set clear problem statement. Do your own simple research first before escalating the issue. Avoid setting a meeting just to ask the question; “Why is this not working?”
Tip: Pinpoint where exactly in the process you think something must’ve gone wrong.
Give clear examples of your tries. Going into the meeting, make sure to mention your attempts that might have previously failed. Would be a plus if you could express your reasonings as well.
Tip: This helps eliminate troubleshoots that do not work hence speeding up the process.
Petra also added that for the senior’s side, being an empathetic listener helps greatly to give the right suggestions. And, try not to be condescending towards juniors.
Scroll through the full discussion on Petra’s Twitter thread here.
Seeing both sides
Questions are more powerful than we think. They uncover ideas that otherwise might not have been spoken. That is, when they are delivered mannerly with the right intentions.
As part of a discussion, questions can set the conversation into two different types: Competitive Conversations or Cooperative Conversations.
Taken from Harvard Business Review, the graphs above show the strategic ways you can go around asking questions, or if you’re on the other side, answering them. As seen in the graphs, different levels of closeness will require different tactics.
When you feel cornered, it is best to refer back to what you know and what you can share. It is also important not to center the question around yourself, and instead focus on the point of the question.
Learn more about the surprising power of questions in the full HBR article here.
If we had a quota of how many questions we could ask in a day, wouldn’t it be a punishment in itself?
As humans, we have the instinct to know more all the time. That’s why asking questions come with its own tactics and techniques—so we can do so properly.
Share the tips above to your colleagues, so your whole team can be certified great-askers™️.
See you next Monday for more!