🙇♀️ Bookmark this for when you need to process grief.
Chances are, you've experienced at least 1 type of grief this past year.
Grief looks different in every human experience. It does not have to be dramatic—or, as dramatic and grand as you thought it would be. Sometimes, we might not even realize we’re currently processing through grief as we might go on autopilot when uncomfortable emotions happen.
Recognize when things get rough, as personal growth is not just about chasing the highs but also about managing the lows
What grief really looks like
There are actually more than 10 types of grief that one person could experience throughout the course of their life. As scary and anxiety-inducing as it sounds, grief is a natural human reaction and needs to be processed in order for us to grow. Learning the different types of grief is the first step towards managing it the right way. Here are some of the common types of grief and what they could look like in real life:
Abbreviated grief: ‘short-time’ grief such as the loss of a distant relative.
Collective grief: experienced by a group of people together, such as the death of a national leader.
Cumulative grief: multiple losses occurring in a short period of time.
Delayed grief: where there is a significant gap between the initial loss and the reaction to it, i.e., a widowed parent who is left to take care of the children on their own.
Disenfranchised grief: where the loss is not socially acknowledged, for example the death of a cheating spouse.
Read more on the types of grief and further explanations of each type here.
The 5 stages of grief
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross came out with her book “On Death and Dying” which outlines the Kübler-Ross model or what we know now as the 5 stages of grief. The same way we have a protocol when dealing with physical wounds, grief also has its own guidebook with these 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Anger, and Acceptance.
It is very important to note that this grieving process is not linear. It might get frustrating when you feel stuck at a certain stage, and that it feels like Acceptance is far from reach.
Grief expert and psychotherapist, Gloria Horsley, has laid out the ways to cope with each stage of grief in this article, so you know what to expect and how to deal with each stage properly.
Stoicism to the rescue
As mentioned before, grief is rather a natural part of life. So naturally, we do have a natural mechanism to deal with grief, which can come in many different shapes and forms—including anxiety. A good amount of anxiety is needed for each individual to be alert that something needs to be fixed, or in this case, processed. But an overwhelming amount will end up sabotaging our life and productivity.
A more unconventional approach to dealing with grief and the anxiety that comes with it is to practice stoicism. Actress and journalist, Marissa Anita, is a huge believer in this philosophy and she has broken down the 3 ways you can start practicing stoicism:
Practice Adversity. To get yourself prepared for the worst, simulate what the worst-scenario could look like by imagining or even acting out the worst scenario itself. This practice will prove that everything will be fine at the end.
Dichotomy of Control. Differentiate between what you can and can not change, as well as what you can and can not influence. Allocate your time and energy to change and influence what you can.
Practice Perception. As Marcus Aurelius once said: “Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been.”
Swipe through the concise Instagram post on Marissa’s explanation on Stoicism here.
This week’s edition might feel a bit heavy on hindsight, but these heavy discussions are needed to prepare ourselves for exponential—and not stagnant, growth.
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Cheers!